Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
