and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
