NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
