it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Sorry my hands just texted you
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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