Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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