Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
