I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I've blown a few things in my day
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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