Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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