He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Is this like a preordered booty call?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
