im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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