i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
