As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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