Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
