At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
