Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize