Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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