I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize