She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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