took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
