Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
