You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
