Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
