If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
