i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
When are your genitals available?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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