What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
