Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
