i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
We got so high we made milksteak
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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