kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
