Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
