oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
My vagina just clenched in fear
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