I hope mine doesn't look like that
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
