So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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