Don't you send me to vm
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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