Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
