We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
