Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
