i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
