you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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