I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
