I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
