Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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