brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
