youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
It's never too late to be topless.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
