hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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