Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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