I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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