Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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