Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
