so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
