Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
