I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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