bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
