found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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