yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
