I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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