Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
