I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
