My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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