ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
