what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
