by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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