Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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