have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
