Rock
Scissors
Fuck
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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