You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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